


love, me normally

by The_IPRE



Category: Archive 81 (Podcast)
Genre: Discussion of Soulmates, M/M, Statnick if you squint but not enough to tag it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26436496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_IPRE/pseuds/The_IPRE
Summary: And I'd rather be normal, yeah, so normalI suggest that we keep this informalThe Good Place, soulmates, and the words that remain unspoken beneath.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	love, me normally

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Love, Me Normally" by Will Wood and the Tapeworms. It fits that lotd vibe of things trying so hard to be Normal™ that they end up overshooting it

“And now, I ask you to open your hearts and your minds and your intestines. Up next, the dulcet tones of Will Wood and the Tapeworms!”

The unsettling words barely registered as they washed over Nicholas. His hands had only just begun to loosen after their escape from the Trucker and Dr. Persimmons before that, and even though the car’s rumble had settled back into a familiar one, it took a decent amount of self control to refrain from incessantly checking the rearview mirror. 

Luckily, Nicholas had self-control in spades.

Billboard after billboard passed, and Nicholas kept driving. The viscera-covered radio played the sounds of consumption and radiators and sermons, and Nicholas kept driving. They passed the same dying scrubby tree that they had seen dozens of times before, and Nicholas kept driving. He was a professional.

Regardless of whether or not the same could be said for Static Man, the being in the passenger seat was not the type to sit in silence. 

That was what made the past _minutessecondshours_ so strange. Static Man was silent as he seemed to chew on whatever he was thinking; he certainly had the teeth for it.

The music playing wasn’t half bad, for once, which Nicholas appreciated. 

That did not stop Static Man from breaking his silence. “Dude, do you think soulmates exist?”

“What?” The word was startled out of Nicholas.

“Dr. Persimmons, the first deal she offered. Our romantic soulmates getting murdered for the tonal-regulator-thing. I mean, we weren’t going to take it, obviously, that’s two murders on our hands – and like, sure, I’ve killed people before, but they deserved it. Mostly.” Static Man was silent for a moment, his body rippling in a shrug. “Still. She seemed pretty fucking cavalier about the whole thing? But also she was just super weird in general, so.”

Nicholas took his time in answering, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. “Honestly, that was a terrible deal, and she very likely knew it. Soulmates out of the picture, two lives taken painfully are worth far more than a car part.”

“Dude.”

“Yes?”

“Nicholas. My man. You’ve _gotta_ know how much like a murderer that makes you sound.”

Nicholas shrugged. A part of him wanted to smile at the waves of baffled attention practically radiating off of Static Man. He kept it in check, though. Self control in spades, and all of that. “I’m just stating facts. She was trying to rip us off, and in an overdramatic way at that.”

“Okay, but latent – actually, they’re not latent, who am I kidding – your fucked up tendencies aside, do you really think soulmates are just, I don’t know, a dramatic buzzword to up the stakes?”

Before all of this, Nicholas would have agreed with that sentiment without a second thought. His history of relationships would certainly back it up, and the idea of some grand plan that matched everyone up neatly with their other half didn’t make much sense. Relationships were what you put into them, and it was easy enough to say that he didn’t put in all that much.

Now, though. The radio seemed dead set on ideas of determinism, destiny being set in stone from before anybody was born.

Nicholas glanced over to Static Man, phasing a finger through the window as he waited for an answer.

Static Man, who was in this car as the result of a very long, very unique chain of dominoes.

Static Man, who was here because he chose to help Nicholas, because Nicholas chose to help him.

When Nicholas spoke, his words were measured out. “I think that my opinions on the matter don’t actually have any effect on the reality of it.”

Static Man groaned. “Come on, man, we both know that’s a cop-out.”

“Look, if it’s all determinism and there are people you’re made to meet and fall in love with, there’s nothing I can do about that! Or anything, for that matter, but that’s not the point. If soulmates aren’t real, it’s just a matter of putting in the same effort that I would with anybody else.”

“Fine, sure, whatever, but like. Nicholas. What do you _actually_ think?”

Nicholas cast his gaze over to Static Man, teeth flickering through grins and unspoken words. “Well, you brought it up. What do you think?”

“Ugh, I asked first, but _fine,_ I’ll submit to the mortifying ordeal of having opinions.” Nicholas had a feeling that if Static Man had his body back, he would be flipping him off. Not for the first time, Nicholas wondered what Arthur had looked like.

Static Man’s form fuzzed as though he was taking a deep breath. “I really like the idea that there are some people we are just...meant to meet, you know? Like, something just _clicks_ and you go ‘oh, right, it’s you.’”

“Do you think that’s what a soulmate is?”

“Fuck off, I don’t know. Maybe? Hey, though, it’s your turn. Can’t leading-question your way out of this one.”

Nicholas drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. Outside the window, another billboard for Meat-Yums passed by. “If there is anything that I have learned on this whole journey into the world of the esoteric arts, it’s that nothing comes easy. Magic isn’t just waving your hands, and mistakes come with a cost.” The torn muscles in his calf ached at the words. “Soulmates are too simple. People don’t just slide into your life like a missing piece and fit perfectly. It’s harder than that.”

Static Man crackled in what was almost a grin. “Soulmates aren’t found, they’re made?”

“Perhaps, if they are, I imagine that it would probably be something like that. Did- wait, did you steal that from _The Good Place_?”

“I can’t believe you actually caught my plagiarism!” Static Man practically lit up- actually, he did light up, colors flickering through his static and wrapping around teeth like fairy lights. “Dude, better question, _you’ve_ seen _The Good Place_? I would have thought that you would have been too busy with all of your French Revolution shit for a sitcom.”

Nicholas shrugged. “I took a philosophy class for fun, a few episodes were assigned for homework. I kept watching it. Honestly, it’s really well made. Sure, it’s a comedy, but the actual philosophical themes are still very well executed. It’s- it’s a good show.”

“I mean, obviously, don’t gotta tell me twice, but. Hell yeah for you having gotten some good taste.”

Nicholas’ voice was dry. “I’m as surprised as you are.”

Static Man laughed again, loud and unconfined and honestly more than the quip deserved. Nicholas couldn’t stop his gaze from flickering over as Static Man began sharing his thoughts on the show, gesturing and strongly opinionated. 

It was strange to consider that they had been working together for only two and a half years. The certainty Nicholas had that he would keep going for as long as it took was even stranger. Strangest of all, Nicholas knew that it wasn’t just due to the bargain of vassalhood. In the times Static Man was discorporated, the silence of a world without white noise was deafening.

He was hesitant to use the word _friend_ , it certainly carried more weight and reality than he would care to commit to anyone, but he wasn’t sure there was a better one.

Nicholas brushed it off. It was likely just the sunk-cost fallacy, and all that. He had put in more work with Static Man than he had most anybody else. They had come too far to turn back now, to give up on the efforts they had built together.

The song ended, cutting that train of excuses off at the pass. The host announced the sound of rats in Kelly Parker’s vents that she couldn’t do anything about, and Static Man’s opinions on _The Good Place_ barrelled right on over the scratches and squeaks.

Regardless of how logically unbalanced Dr. Persimmon’s deal had been, Nicholas again felt suddenly glad that he had not taken it.

He very intentionally did not think about that feeling, and the world blurred past as he continued to drive.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave a comment or kudos, or come talk to me on tumblr at [the-ipre](https://the-ipre.tumblr.com)!


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